How to Handle PTSD Triggers: The Simple Things Melissa Does
In our book #dealwithit: Duct Tape for the Soul, my wife Melissa talks about what she does to help me when various things trigger me, basically, how do people Deal With PTSD Triggers.
In the clip above from a recent radio interview, she steps through the simple 3 or 4 things she does every time that help me.
In another interview we did together, we talk about the power and role of a partner in recovery and how she has never allowed herself to become my PTSD caregiver. We would encourage you to view those as well.
I love your beautiful brain
In Mel’s Turn at the end of chapter 3, Melissa remembers the day I told her about my brain scan:
“We were about a month out from our wedding day when John had the brain scan. He sat me down (very seriously and ominously) and explained how his brain was broken. I’m pretty sure that’s the word he used. He went on to say that I probably deserved someone better and that he understood if I wanted to call the whole thing off. My reply was something like, ‘Fuck off. I love your beautiful brain, and you (and it) are stuck with me.’ And that was that.”
Move toward him (not away)
Later in that same section, she explains what the scan changed:
“I could also help John when he encountered an unexpected trigger. When he goes off the rails, it can come with what seems like a very personal verbal attack. With what we now knew about his brain, I could recognize that behavior as a fight response and do my best not to take it personally. I try to keep my body language very soft, move toward him (not away), speak softly, stay open, and do my best to help him see that he’s safe. We don’t always do it perfectly, but our wins are outpacing our losses since we got the scan.”
There’s more in the book
If you have PTSD or know someone who does suffer from it, I think you will find our book ‘#dealwithit: Duct Tape for the Soul’ helpful.
We talk about what we have done together that has helped me graduate beyond just being a ‘survivor’ of PTSD and trauma; what works; what doesn’t; and what I have screwed up.
Fundamentally, #dealwithit is about overcoming adversity in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds.
This is for personal reflection, not medical or crisis advice.
If you’re in crisis, call or text 988 in the US, or find a free, confidential line in your country at findahelpline.com.